State of Play
by mishy-mo
Summary: Second in the 'Play the Game' Series. House has a cunning evil plan to mess with Wilson's head. More fun to follow. Set begining season three, no plot spoilers. HouseCameron.
1. Let the Games Begin Again!

**Let the Games Begin (Again)**

Cameron sighed.

She had been charting for the last 40 minutes since House had left the room. She had pulled her hair back into a rough loose bun, run away strands of hair fell between her and the charts before her. It was boring work.

Though she'd never admit it, she was quite anxious about Wilson finding out about their sudden... relationship.

She was quite anxious about the relationships as a whole and the implications of this one in particular weighed heavily on her mind. She was well aware that they each had their own emotional scars and broken hearts: they were both damaged.

She heard the sound of someone coming into the room. And with the distinct lack of a tingly feeling in her toes she could tell it wasn't House. But as she looked up, her stomach knotted at the sight of Wilson standing in the doorway.

There was a pause that echoed around the room for what felt like an eternity.

"Have you seen House?"

She almost got down on her knees and prayed to the most popular god(s), but a little voice in her head (that sounded a lot like House) stated very clearly and loudly that it would be a bad thing.

"I haven't seen him." Then knowing she couldn't lie to save herself she added quietly in her mind, 'in the last 40 minutes'.

"Okay." he said with a nod before leaving.

Cameron took a full two minutes to breathe in deep and calm her heart rate.

She had to find House.

Picking up the phone on his desk she dialed his cell number and waited patiently, glancing around to make sure no one was watching or listening.

"Hello me." he said smugly a playful lit in his voice and the groan of a leather chair taking his weight in the background.

"House!" she whispered in an annoyed voice.

"What the hell happened to calling me Greg?" he said, his voice half serious.

"Greg," she said putting emphasis on his name, "...your friend was here looking for you."

"Me? Have a friend? You must have me confused with some other Greg House."

She could here the smile in his voice and couldn't help but smile back.

"That's what I thought but he was quite insistent."

"What did he want?" His voice rumbled seriously over the phone.

"He didn't say he just asked if I'd seen you." she replied in all honesty quiet shocked at the affect just hearing his voice had on her. Her breathing was fast, a little too fast for just sitting at a desk sorting through paperwork.

No doubt he could hear it and played up to it in his teasing way.

"Oh, you've seen me." he said again in the low rumbling tone that made her belly ache, "Naked."

"Greg!" she squealed, a blush rising across her cheeks.

"Allison!" he replied, in a similar and mocking squeak.

"I take it you haven't spoken to him yet?" she said trying to gain some sense of control of the conversation.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" he said sarcastically, "Anyway, it doesn't matter I have an cunning evil plan."

She could imagine him waving his hands in a dismissive sort of manner, then bringing them together in a Burns from the Simpson's impression.

"Evil?" she asked, her eyebrow quirking upward in intrigue and curiosity.

"You said I could have fun!" he whined childishly.

"And you said you loved me." she replied seriously.

A long silence lingered between them. She could almost feel him squirming uncomfortably on the other end of the phone. He wasn't ready to talk about it directly yet. She had known that it had been a slip of the tongue (what a tongue) but she took solace in the fact that he didn't retract or deny what he said.

She sighed softly and broke the silence, "What kind of fun did you have in mind?" she spoke with a sultry voice.

"I knew I'd be a good influence on you." he said smiling once again, "Lock the doors and draw all the blinds in my office, come out onto the balcony and meet me in Wilson's office."

"I hope you know what you're doing."

_I hope I know what I'm doing getting involved with you_, she thought.

"I always know what I'm doing." he said with complete confidence, with a tone of seriousness in his voice that laid to rest any doubts as to their relationship or his cunning plan.

Let the games begin.

Again.


	2. Game On

**Game On**

Allison arrived at the glass door to Wilson's office just a few minutes later, glancing into the room she saw House sitting comfortably in the large comfy leather seat behind the wooden desk, his legs crossed at the corner, his heels bearly missing some very important looking documents.

Anyone would think that this was his office.

She smirked as she pulled the door open and stepped into the warm room.

"Gregory." she said in a soft sultry voice.

"Allison." his voice rumbled sending a shiver down her spine.

He dropped his legs from the desk and pushing the chair back a little, as she drew closer his hands guided her jean clad hips to rest against the desk in front of him.

"So, what exactly is this evil plan of yours?" she asked, her blood thrumming at his constant touch. His fingertips brushing the bruised skin he'd created during last nights make out session in the jazz club.

"I paged Wilson he's going to be here in around a minute and a half." he said half lifting her onto the desk.

"Greg!" she said in outrage at bring her in here with the intention of Wilson seeing them in a 'compromising' position, but it came out as more of a moan as his hands trailed down her thighs.

"What don't you trust me?" he said as his hands reached her knees and parted them allowing him to move closer to the desk before drawing her onto his lap with her legs draped around the chair.

Her hands gripped his shoulders to steady herself as they settled together in the chair.

House for one was a little relieved. It had been 40 minutes since he'd laid eyes on her and even longer since he'd touched her. She just felt so good in his arms; it was almost as if he felt normality with her so close to him. One thing you must remember is that House never has, is or will be 'clingy' or 'needy' or any of its synonyms; she just felt **_so_** good he didn't want to let her go.

One of his hands slid slowly up her spine to release a wave of soft curls from the practical loose bun that had held them back. He grinned as his hand moved through her silken hair and pulled her closer to him.

His blood was on fire at the sight of her devilish smirk as she brought her lips to his.

He had completely forgotten about the plan, the only thoughts on his mind of the gorgeous woman on his lap kissing him senseless.

That was until the office door opened and Wilson shouted, "What the hell is going on here!" slamming the door behind him.

House could feel Cameron stiffen and tense in his arms but he held her to him and continued the kiss before pointing a finger at Jimmy in the international sign for 'hold on a minute'. He held the kiss until he felt her relax in his arms once more, until she settled deliciously against him.

With a gentle pressure of his fingers against the back of her head he encouraged her to put her mouth to good use against the skin of his neck.

"This is much better than any physio I've had before." House breathed.

"You know I never thought you'd go to such lengths to annoy Cuddy by bringing a hooker to work, and in my office no less." Wilson said clearly about to go into a strop.

She grinned against his warm delectable skin, completely confidant in him, though she was a little annoyed at being called hooker. None the less an evil plan began to form in her mind. Moments later she set about trying to distract him.

"Annoying Cuddy does sound like funny, but this gorgeous woman? A hooker?" House said incredulously, "No, she's sooooo much better... Ah!" He gasped as Cameron pulled at his shirt until the teeth marks she made last night were revealed and she worked and the bruised tender skin with butterfly kisses and a swift tongue. Flashes of images and sounds of last nights exertions filled his mind and made him shiver. His eyes closed as he drank in the memories.

"Oh, so good." he said opening his eyes to a shocked James Wilson. "And free. Completely voluntary."

"How the hell did you get anyone that hot to sleep with you?" Wilson asked incredulously with a hint of hope and envy mixed in his voice. Clearly he wanted a Cameron of his own which made House's hold on her tighten and draw her closer to him.

At Wilson's words Cameron's mouth moved to House's ear, were she whispered in a low seductive tone completely unlike her regular voice.

"You're intense eyes, you're hot body and you're wicked tongue." she whispered her own tongue darting out to like the shell of his ear.

"Eyes, body and t-ah...tongue apparently." he relayed to his friend, his eyes closing once more.

"Yeah." Wilson said sarcastically glancing at the pair with a mixture of annoyance and envy. "D'ya mind telling me why you're in my office?"

"Well..." House said trying to detach himself from the feeling of Cameron's mouth returning to his neck. "...We had a good time last night, twice actually, and then again this morning. I should have known then she'd want more of my hot... You did say hot didn't you?"

The curls of brown hair shook in a positive manner.

"Yes, more of my hot body. The little minx cornered me in the hospital and demanded a repeat performance." He said with a greedy grin.

"So, you had to drag me to my own office to watch you get lucky?"

"Voyeurism again Greg." she whispered against his skin loud enough for only him to hear and growl gently in response.

"It was closer, anyway we're winding down." he answered wagging his eyebrows.

"Urgh!" Wilson said. The sound of the door opening and closing reaching their ears.

"That was evil." Cameron breathed against his skin.

"Uh huh. But not half as evil as what you were doing to me." His fingers moved through her hair and brought her gaze to his.

She smirked, "It added to the plan didn't it."

His eyes narrowed shrewdly. "You should come with a warning label."

"So should you. Gregory House: dangerously addictive." She said before bringing he lips to his.

"You think so?" he said with a smirk, "Maybe we should skip phase two of the plan and stay right here."

"Phase two?"

"You didn't think that was it did you?"

"I'm starting to learn that there's always more where you're concerned." she said with a soft smile.

"Lots, lots more." he murmured and kissed her deeply.


	3. Phase Two

**Phase Two**

House's hands reached further around her, holding her closer to him.

She moaned against his mouth as she felt him stand with her still wrapped around him, quite happy that phase two didn't require her to move away from him for some time at least.

"Where are we going?" she asked her arms around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist.

"Back to my office." he said simply.

"Buh...but the conference room... its... anyone in there will see us..."

"Exactly." he said with an evil looking grin, as he moved to the balcony door and stepped into the cool New Jersey air.

"But..." she tried to argue.

But it was no good, he fixed her with his usual smouldering intense stare and she was putty in his hands. A play-thing to mould and shape as he willed.

And he knew it.

He had done as much in the bedroom so she wasn't entirely shocked as he pulled her into his schemes, she was rather honoured to be honest. Normally the only person he would 'conspire' with was Wilson. Now he was conspiring with her _**against**_ Wilson it seemed rather odd, though she had to admit she was thoroughly enjoying it.

So far.

House sidestepped along the hospital wall until they stood a few inches from the edge of the conference room window. He leaned toward the glass and glanced into the room.

When he straightened his grin was almost ear to ear as he whispered quietly. "Perfect."

"What's perfect?" she asked trying to look herself but House was quick on his feet and turned to pin her against the rough exterior wall.

"Ah-ah, now who's plan is this?"

"Yours." she breathed, her voice and intriguing mix of arousal and disappointment.

He nodded slightly, and inclined his head as he considered her lips and lent in to kiss them.

"But..." Allison said, gripping the collar of his shirt and holding him back (though it did take a great deal of will power to deny him even if it was for just 10 seconds) "...as an accomplice shouldn't I know what I'm getting into?"

Despite her best efforts (which were pathetic) his lips descended against hers in a passionate kiss, he pulled back just a few short moments later to stare into the lust drenched eyes of Allison Cameron. It took all his will power not to kiss her again and strip her down right there but he proceeded to reveal the basics of Phase two.

"The conference room has three occupants. Wilson, the primary target, and Forman and Chase, slaves that do my bidding. Wilson is currently ranting at the slaves, who being the good little slaves that they are, are sitting facing the hallway. The point of this phase it to walk by the window with the biggest grin on my face he's ever seen, thereby attracting Wilson's attention rendering him speechless and struck dumb in front of the gossip harbourers of the hospital. Before the slaves can turn around we shall be safely out of sight in my office. Got it?"

Her eyes still hooded she nodded slightly in a hazy kind of understanding, before her lips came down on his. Her fingers trailed through his short scruffy hair messing it up further and drawing his lips harder to hers. The kiss was hard, wild and adrenaline filled; from the newness of the relationship, from the conspiring and sneaking, from the fact that it was forbidden and secret.

They pulled apart panting; both with only the barest recollection of what the plan was but the sounds of Wilson's raised voice drew them from their 'moment'.

House checked the room once again, then turning back to his accomplice, he nodded in the affirmative before moving off.

Cameron buried her head in the crook of his neck once more.

After just two steps the shouting stopped.

House grinned widely as Wilson took on a deer in headlights look which made him wish he had a camera.

Seconds later they were entering House's office.

"Did he see us?" Cameron asked.

"Yup," House said moving to the desk and letting her rest upon it. "You should have seen the look on his face!"

"What about Foreman and Chase?"

"Completely oblivious as usual." he said with a smirk.

"So, do you think of me as your oblivious slave as well?" she said mischievously.

"Hell no!" he said, just as the door to his office began to shake. "You're my gorgeous sex slave."

"Hey!" she said pushing him half heartedly, her ankles disentangling, calves dropping down to his thighs.

"What? Whips and chains. I thought you mentioned them last night?" he said with a smug grin, Wilson's shouts on the other side of the glass door.

"Anything thing to keep you under control."

He leaned forward a little his lips barely and inch from hers. "Yes, Mistress."

"Now, go and answer that door, Gregory." she said in a low seductive tone, far more confidant than she felt.

"Permission to kiss you senseless first." he said glancing at the place where the door was covered by vertical blinds then back to her soft pink lips.

"HOUSE!" Wilson shouted. "Open the god damned door!"

"Granted." she said with a devilish grin.


	4. Interpretation

**Interpretation**

"What?" House shouted opening the door just enough to put his head into the conference room and no more. All three of its occupants took in his overly dishevelled appearance.

"What happened to you? Walk through a tornado somewhere?" asked Chase.

With this question and the lack in IQ (which meant that it was very hard to be devious), it meant that Wilson had not been specific in his rantings.

This boded extremely well for the plan.

"Good boy, Jimmy." House said in a condescending manor, then stage whispering "This is no matter for the children. Wouldn't want to impinge on their innocence."

"House what the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"Touring." he said wagging his eyebrows.

Wilson looked extremely exasperated.

"Now, if you'll excuse me I have a gig to perform." he said, making to close the door. An un-House-like grin spread across his stubbled jaw.

"House!" Wilson said once again.

House rolled his eyes in reply and then let them rest on the white board in the conference room for a moment. They still held the 'symptoms' discussed an hour earlier.

"We had an interesting case this morning." he said turning to his 'slaves', "Kids, why don't you tell Uncle Jimmy all about it while Daddy has some fun."

He said finally closing the door and locking it behind him.

In the dimmed light he saw Cameron sitting where he'd left her, on the edge of his desk, with a look of utter disbelief.

"Wha...umm..." she stammered.

"Confusion makes you look so cute." he said moving towards her once more. Her knees parted at the slightest touch to let him settle between her thighs, her hands wrapped around his neck as he leaned forward slightly a hand on either side of her; the movement threatening to lay them both flat out on the large desk causing both of them to flush in the slightest.

"What part of the plan is this?" she asked with a rascally grin. "Do you intend to 'perform' for me?"

"No plan. Perhaps a performance. And I'm doing this because I just want to." he said as his lips descended to hers.

Moments later a loud Wilson sounding shout of "YES!" came from next door.

They grinned together, their lips still pressed against each other.

Wilson's loud laughter now filtered through the glass.

"I'll just get him." House said with a quick kiss and moving back from their embrace.

"A threesome, oh how fun." she said with a smirk.

House fixed her with an intense and possessive glare.

She licked her lips, tasting him then grinned widely.

"Don't worry Greg," she said hopping off the desk and moving towards him and wrapping her arms around his neck, "You're all I want."

He smiled softly and brushed his lips with hers, then turned to the door with a smug grin. Unlocking it he saw that Wilson was almost doubled over with laughter (or abdominal pain) while Foreman looked concerned and Chase looked rather scared.

"Wilson, get in here before you embarrass yourself anymore." He barked, effectively reducing Wilson's laughter to a series of chuckles.

By the time Wilson had reached the glass threshold he had stopped making noises but had a huge grin on his face instead.

The door thudded softly behind the two before the lock swiftly clicked shut.

"I'm getting out of here." Chases said, in a manner like the kid from sixth sense said 'I see dead people'.

Foreman nodded and turned to his paper.

"Why aren't you leaving?" Chase whispered. "They could be doing anything in there!"

At this point a girly squeal came from the office next door.

"They're not gay, Chase." Foreman said exasperated. "How many times do I need to tell you?"

"Sure, there's been sexual tension in the air since we got in today. And if it is their's I don't want to wait around to find out." He said leaving and running in the opposite direction of House's office.

Foreman followed soon after.


	5. The Rundown

**The Rundown**

Wilson stood stock still in the darkened office as his eyes fell upon the embarrassed figure of Allison Cameron. She stood a little in front of House's desk. Her hands wringing at her stomach and her eye's darting everywhere except the inquisitive and gleeful eyes of the oncologist.

The second that the lock was clicked into place a grin appeared on Wilson's face.

House turned around just in time to see James Wilson, his so-called best friend rush forward and wrap his arms around Cameron.

His Cameron.

He scowled and his eyes narrowed in suspicion and possessiveness.

The temperature of his blood fired red hot when his 'friend' lifted Cameron and began to swing her round causing her to squeal in a very girly manor.

The second her feet touched the ground House wrapped an arm protectively around her waist before pushing his friend not so carefully from them.

"No way Jimmy, I know what you're like. Hands off."

"Okay, okay." Wilson said with an immovable grin. "So, what happened? When, where, how?"

"Who?" Allison added helpfully.

"The Who?" House added sarcastically, as he wrapped his other arm around her waist leaning back slightly so that she leant against him as he leant against the desk.

Cameron began giggling slightly, which music to House's ears and caused his stomach to squirm in a not unpleasant way.

"Aw, come on just tell me already." Wilson begged, acting like a child. House could imagine a little inquisitive Jimmy Wilson stamping his foot in protest causing the barest smile to grace his stubbled jaw.

"She came round to my place last night and made me take her out on a date again."

"You asked me out first." she shot back.

"And you said no."

"So, I changed my mind."

"It still doesn't change the fact that you made me take you out on a date." he replied.

"I did no such thing."

"Yeah, right before I caught you staring at my ass you said that you weren't going to leave unless I took you out."

"Oh, well… yeah. But you did ask first." she said with a soft conspiring smile.

**_You can't win every battle now that you're with me_**, that smile said to House, it drove him to insanity and bliss at the same time.

House gave an exasperated sigh, before he kissed her soundly on the lips. Quite soon the kiss deepened, as they each forgot the presence of the third person in the room.

"A-hem." Wilson said in a stage cough, "There are just some things I don't want to see."

"Yes and you're so innocent." said House, "Anyway you were quite happy to watch us make out like teenagers in your office five minutes ago."

"And I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life. Besides I didn't know it was Cameron on your lap at that point." Wilson retorted before adding, "Sorry for calling you a hooker by the way."

Allison rolled her eyes, "Its okay I don't blame you. I blame him." she said nudging House gently on his stomach.

"Hey!"

"Can we just get on with the story?" Wilson said uncomfortably, not really used to this side of House.

"Of course, Jimmy. Now where was I?"

"I think **I** was staring at your ass." Allison said with a lecherous smile that made Wilson cringe.

"You most certainly were. So, after staring at my ass as I walked down the hall and a shower she helps me put on my cuff links. She just couldn't wait to get her hands on me."

"And you couldn't wait to stare down my shirt."

"Then she tried staring at my ass again."

"You checked me out first!" She exclaimed, "Then he made us go on his motorcycle."

"You made me go out on a date with you!"

"Fine." Cameron conceded.

"Then whilst I was driving she started to feel me up."

"You did the same to me when we got to the Jazz club!"

"Ah! No more!" Wilson almost shouted. Wilson had watched the exchange so far as one would watch a tennis match, with pained expressions as the rally drew to an interrupted close. "Is it possible to get a shortened version without all the details and the bickering couple thing you guys already seem to have down?"

"Fine." House said rolling his eyes, and resting his chin on Cameron's shoulder. "What; we went on a date. When; last night. Where; a Jazz club and then back to mine. How; you're a grown man Jimmy you should know that by now."

Cameron blushed.

Wilson looked a happy sort of exasperated way; glad that his torture was almost over.

And House was grinning in that manic way of his.

"It's about time you had some sense knocked into you. Both of you." the oncologist said with a warm smile, the barest hint of longing and envy in his eyes.

"Thanks." they both said sarcastically.

Wilson shook his head with a wistful smile on his lips, "Well, congratulations." he said moving forward to embrace Cameron once more.

"What did I say about hands off?" House near shouted, then quieter, with only a little more humour to cover his very serious tone, "Get your own Cameron."

"Not a bad idea," Wilson said with a smirk, "So, have you got a sister?"

"No," she said her eyes dancing with laughter and the beginnings of a devilish grin twitching at the corners of her mouth, "I do have a brother though. You're just his type."

"What the hell have you done to her?" Wilson said in an accusing whisper, before he made his escape, afraid for the hospital and the world as a corrupted Allison Cameron was about to be let loose.

"Have I told you 'I love you'?" House said as he turned her around to face him.

"I think you might have mentioned it." she replied with a knowing smile, before she leaned in and captured his lips.

"I love you too." she said as their kiss finished.

His only reply was to smile warmly and kiss her once more.

Lost in each other, neither noticed that the door to the office was unlocked.


	6. Through the Grapevine

**Through the Grapevine**

"Hey Chase, wait up." Foreman called as he ran towards the rapidly closing doors of the hospitals elevators.

With the ring of a small bell the door opened to reveal an almost full elevator with Chase at the front of the group of patients looking thoroughly smug.

"So, you didn't want to stay either?" Chase asked cockily.

"This doesn't mean that I think they're gay." Foreman replied with a sigh as the elevator doors closed and the lift began its descent.

At once the entire elevator fell into an interested silence, every occupant captivated by the Doctors' gossip.

"Oh, but it means you think it might be a possibility." Chase said knowingly.

Foreman replied with a stare, not ready to agree that there may even be a possibility at the moment. In his opinion there was a little too much evidence swinging the other way.

"Just give it up they're gay." Chase said with a smile.

"What about Cameron?" Foreman said with a sigh, unhappy that he was falling into this conversation. He didn't normally care about other peoples personal lives but Chase was intent on proving his point.

"House is over whatever the hell it was between them. You heard him this morning, they've both moved on. And Wilson did seem pretty happy about it, shouting 'Yes' and laughing his head off."

"I'm still not…" Foreman said quietly.

"Look," Chase said as if he was beginning a closing statement, "They are always hanging about together most of the time in House's office with the blinds drawn. House was pretty cranky when Wilson moved out of his place for what ever reason that was. Wilson was more than happy to hear that House was making fun of Cameron for sleeping with someone instead of trying to corner me and beat me to a pulp with his cane."

Foreman allowed himself a brief smirk at the memory of Chase running scared and hiding from House at every turn for almost a month.

"But Wilson's been married and House was with Stacy." Foreman countered with the last of his defence.

"Yeah, Wilson has had **_three_** failed marriages and House hates Stacy, and by association, all women for his leg." Chase said smugly, glad that he knew something that Foreman didn't, "They're so doing it."

Foreman rolled his eyes, still unconvinced, and waited for the elevator doors to slide open to reveal a rather quiet looking hospital lobby.

With a nod both Foreman and Chase headed off to the cafeteria knowing that the clinic would already be over-staffed for the number of patients. The rest of the people in the elevator filtered out, the last of which to leave was a rather gleeful looking male nurse.

_Time to put Dr Wilson out of the picture so I can get some action_ he thought, as stepped out and set to work letting the entire hospital know this latest gossip.

The elevator was only empty for about 40 seconds as the hospital administrator entered with a murderous glint in her eye hit the button for the diagnostics floor.

The other elevator signalled its arrival at the ground floor just as the doors closed making the administrator disappear from the view of several gossiping nurses.

* * *

James Wilson stepped into the lobby with a thoroughly pleased smile on his face. 

Today was going to be a good day he thought, as spring in his step as he drew closer to the nurses station intent on catching up on the latest gossip with his favourite nurses.

He smiled at the first, with his usual charming grin.

She smiled rather sadly and sweetly before ignoring him and going back to work.

Smiling at the second he received an angry and hurt looking stare before she stormed off.

The third only glanced at him before bursting into tears and bustling away with anguished yelps with every shake of her shoulders.

The fourth was not a regular but he smiled and said hello in a normal voice in attempt to find out the latest from the grapevine. For which he received a wink, a smile and a slip of paper with a cell number on it, before **Michael** damn near skipped off to the clinic.

"Call me when it's over honey. I don't think it'll last. " He'd said.

_What the hell was going on!?_ He thought moving as quickly as he could from the nurse's station.

He soon found himself in the cafeteria.

Silence descended on the room as soon as he walked in.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see one of the hospitals male nurses smiling widely as they comforted the girl that had cried when he'd smiled.


	7. Not Phase Four

**Not Phase Four **

_Back in House's Office..._

She was lost in him.

Lost in the feel of his drawing them so close their hearts beat against each other. The warmth of him. The sound of his voice as he said 'I love you' again.

His lips brushed teasingly against hers. It was just a touch, only enough to leave her wanting.

Every fibre in her body ached for him.

She gripped him roughly by the collar and sucked his tongue eagerly into her mouth. She could almost feel him grin before one of his hands moved up through her hair and held her head hard against his ravenous tongue in a way that made her moan loudly and shudder against him.

Eyes closed, his tongue delving past her sweet soft lips and arms wrapped around her, House them blindly forward until her legs hit the couch. House pushed her gently so she tumbled into its soft depths.

"Hey!" she said indignantly.

"I take it you don't want me to join you then?" he asked smugly with a mixture of amusement and arousal in his eyes.

She smiled bashfully before grinning in a devilish sort of way that was fast becoming his most favourite thing in the world.

He leaned forward and pulled himself up her body, his weight settled softly on her small frame still supported by his elbows, one of her legs nestled safely between his the other bent against the back of the couch and wrapping around his hips.

"You know I was thinking we maybe shouldn't do this at work." He said softly.

A look of disappointment flitted across her face.

"But now I'm here." he continued with a wicked grin, one of his eyebrows raised smugly.

For which he received a smack on the shoulder, and a soft smile, before her hands snaked around his neck and drew his lips to hers for a soft kiss that left the both breathless.

But breathless they continued.

At the point when the door hissed as it opened interrupting the couples moans and groans of pleasure, Cameron's blouse was unbuttoned, House's button-down was lying on the floor and his shirt was hitched up around his ribs.

"Jimmy, what the heh…" House said looking to the door expecting to see Wilson, "Uh oh."

He was glad he was covering Cameron's modesty, and that he was lying down.

"What?" Cameron whispered frustrated at the lack of his kiss as she nibbled at the skin below his ear.

"Don't get jealous but that amazing rack I told you about earlier just walked in with a really low cut top on." He said his eyes fixated not on her rack, but her wide gaping eyes.

"Cuddy?" she hissed in shock.

"Well, duh!" he said lifting his head slightly to look down at Cameron, "Who else would come barging in here without knocking?"

"I was just checking." She said with a roll of her eyes, catching sight of said shocked hospital administrator at the corner of her eye.

"I need to get a remote control for that lock." House said absentmindedly.

"Are you sure this wasn't phase four?"

"Trust me, if this was part of the plan I would have been more organised and had something witty to say."

Cuddy had been silent the whole time lifted her right hand to cover her open mouth as she continued to stare at the two on the couch.

"Are you planning on standing there all day? Because we want to finish up at some point." House said in a mocking tone.

"Greg!" Cameron admonished.

"What?! It's true!"

Cameron grimaced and looked at the still aghast Cuddy.

"Hi." She said softly.

"Oh, and that was much better." House said sarcastically making to move form the couch.

"Don't you dare move." Cameron warned and she held him closer.

"It isn't exactly as if I'm much better off than you." he said mean his attire and a problem a little further south.

At which she shook her head and pulled his shirt down for him.

"Thank you." He said before giving her a soft kiss.

"Ah…em…" Cuddy stuttered.

"We should do this more often. Cuddy's never speechless; it's nice." He said with a smile.

"House!" Cuddy barked, most of her shock disappearing.

"Knew it wouldn't last." He stage whispered.

Cuddy crossed her left arm across her waist and brought her right hand to her forehead as if trying to rub away the beginnings of a headache.

"This is okay." she said practically covering her eyes, "No it's not. It's great, but don't think this get's you off clinic duty. I expect you and only you to do your clinic hours in ten minutes." She said turning from the room.

"And don't let me catch you again." She shouted as the door hissed closed and the treacherous lock clacked into place.

House glared at the door, as the lock openly mocked him.

"That went well." Cameron whispered.

"Easy for you to say you haven't got clinic duty in 10 minutes."

"10 minutes?" She said seductively as she began to hitch up his shirt once more. He hissed as his skin brushed hers once more.

"I could always be late." He said with a grin before his lips descended to hers once more.


	8. The Hospital Mob

**The Hospital Mob**

Wilson stood stock still a mixture of fear and nervousness gripping his heart in front of what felt like a million pairs of eyes.

Doctors, nurses, secretaries, janitors, orderlies, cleaning staff, patients and the catering staff all stared at him.

He gulped under their intense scrutiny the sound echoing around the still room, before a series of shouts and calls and questions erupted in his direction in the form of a wave of sound to great to pick out any one voice or word.

Wilson's eyes widened in horror as he turned and ran from the room; his heartbeat doubled as he heard the sounds of what seemed like hundreds of chairs scraping across the floor and the pounding of feet of the staring mob behind him.

He emerged, bursting through a set of double doors into the hospital lobby. He ran; his tie and coat flapping behind him to the front doors of the hospital only to be faced with a crowd of more staring people.

They were everywhere!

As he cowered away from the mob that drew nearer he found himself backed against the doors of the elevator pushing frantically at the call buttons.

"Oh god." He whispered to himself quietly, as all the eyes of the world became fixed on him once more.

"Is it true?" A loud voice asked over the crowd, causing the mob to still and quiet in wait of the answer.

"Is…is what true?" He asked nervously back his hand pressing on the call button until it hurt and he had an arrow shaped mark on his fingers that wouldn't disappear for several hours.

"Are you gay? Are you going out with House?" Several voices called.

Wilson was aghast. Him and House!?!? What the hell would give them that idea? Gay maybe, House had always warned him about the hair.

Speechless with his mouth opening and closing like a fish the slightest hint of hope graced his mind as he saw Foreman weave through the crowd in his direction.

"Wilson isn't gay!" Foreman shouted, trying to defend his fellow doctor, "He's had three wives for crying out loud!"

"You just want him for yourself you selfish bastard!" called someone to the right.

"I reckon he's after House! He has the same sneakers as he does!" shouted another from the back of the room.

The entire room began to rumble with chatter at the speculations made.

"You're on your own." Foreman whispered to the still speechless Wilson, and then louder to the crowd he shouted, "I'm just going to call my GIRLFRIEND!"

"Swinging both ways are we?" someone shouted after him as he exited stage left.

They all watched as Foreman coat tail disappeared around the corner and then the staring turned back to Wilson.

"I am not gay." He said in a loud shaky voice, not looking anyone in the eye.

"But what's with the hair?" someone called from the left.

Wilson groaned but held his eyes open in fear of the crowd advancing on him. In fear of advances, period!

At which point a man at the front of the crowd gave him a rather lecherous grin, "What I wouldn't give to run my hands through it."

Wilson silently vowed never to look at another woman in that way again; it was singularly the scariest moment in his life.

"NO!" he shouted, backing further against the elevator doors wondering when the hell one would reach the lobby. "I'm not gay. Really! I'll prove it."

But as he looked around the crowd he could only see men. Men with that look in their eyes and a grin to match.

His heart stopped for the smallest second.

**_Bing!_** the elevator announced its arrival.

Please be a woman Wilson thought as he turned to the opening doors.

Wilson only had time to register long curly raven hair, a cream skirt and a gorgeous soft smile before he launched himself into the elevator and pulled the woman into a desperate kiss.

The crowd 'Aw-ed' half in disappointment, the other half in adoration.

A few sniggered having had time to notice who exactly it was that Wilson was kissing.

Chase made a hasty escape from the hospital wondering the fastest way to Mexico.


	9. Caught

**Caught**

His kiss was desperate and wild as he pulled the XX chromosome body flush against his own.

The feminine curves pressed against him calmed his nerves greatly and he slowed his fevered kiss to something soft and almost apologetic against her smooth but unresponsive lips.

But that changed rather suddenly.

Her once idol hands reached up and gripped his tie, pulling him harder against her. The other brushed his shoulders and snaked around his neck, her long elegant fingers moving through his styled hair as her lips parted and sucked his tongue into her mouth.

A frown creased his brow as he complied with her request, his tongue forcefully exploring a bitter-sweet new territory.

Opening his eyes slightly for the first time since their lips met and recognised his accomplice, he instantly recoiled away from the kiss.

"I err...I'm sorry." he whispered quietly, their arms still around each other. "That was a..."

"The only mistake you could make is not doing that again." she said with a wicked smile, her eyes drenched in desire.

He grinned boyishly back completely forgetting that almost 90 percent of the hospital staff were looking upon them as he pulled her curves to his body once more and brought his lips back to hers.

They kissed each other hungrily, barely aware of the cat-calls and wolf-whistles from the crowd in the lobby.

The doors of the lift closed and Wilson pushed her lightly against the elevator wall. His thumb trailed lightly along her jaw as the fingertips of his other hand slipped beneath her shirt to caress the taught skin of her stomach.

She gasped in a deep breath halting their kiss, he sucked gently on her lower lip as her hand fisted almost painfully in his hair.

Their lustful gazes locked before their ravenous hungry kiss resumed.

Neither heard the soft bell or the halt of the elevator.

Silence greeted them from the hallway.

Well, for a second at least.

"Going down?" asked a smug familiar voice laced with innuendo.

"Maybe later." Cuddy answered, her eyes meeting House's across Wilson's shoulder.

"Well this is certainly a turn up for the books." House said, cast a quick eye across a shocked Cameron at his side, before the rested on a heavily breathing Cuddy. "Did you get sick of the bottled stuff and decide to go straight to the source?"

"House!" Wilson said, turning slightly and defending the woman in his arms, "This has nothing to do with that."

"Trying to get that promotion Jimmy?" House said with a smirk.

Wilson gave him and exasperated look.

"No," he said flatly.

"You know," House said turning to Cameron, this time their gazes meeting. "It's times like these I wish our department was on the top floor. Maybe I might have seen Cuddy's funbags."

Cameron smacked him in the gut and rolled her eyes.

But anticipating the move he pulled her in front of him and rested his chin of her shoulder his hands clasped at her stomach.

"I did warn you." he whispered against her skin, then looking up into the eyes of his only friend "You could of been faster."

This earned him an exasperated look from both Cuddy and Wilson.

"Anyway I thought you were more interested in Cameron's brother." he said with a sly grin.

Wilson looked like a deer caught in headlights and held Cuddy closer to him.

House, Cameron and Cuddy looked rather curiously on the quiet doctor.

"Wilson?" Cuddy asked quietly with a concerned tone.

He remained silent and shocked, completely lost in a strange inner reality.


	10. Pinching

**Pinching **

Moments later four adults made their way to House's darkened and cloaked office.

Wilson appeared to be in shock, no-doubt the full force of the last 20 minutes revelations hitting him but nore of the others knew of this yet. Cuddy fussed over the unusually quiet occologist as he fell into House's recliner; his eyes still wide, his mouth still gaping.

Cameron sat on the couch, a small blush on her cheeks at the memory of what had taken place not 5 minutes ago. The warmth of him was still on her skin, though his touch was gone as he sat at the opposite edge of the couch. She watched curiously as he toed off his sneakers and then twisted sideways on the groaning couch so that his thighs came to rest across her own. She surprised both herself and House when her hands moved to his right thigh and began to work some of the tension form his non-muscle. He showed his appreciation with the softest of contented sighs as he settled further into the couch, his long fingers laced behind his head.

All the while Cuddy was still trying to bring Wilson from his shocked stuppor.

"Wilson what's wrong?...Wilson?...James?..." she said softly, her hand on his shoulder.

"Get the funbags out. I'm sure that will get a rise out of him." said House, then muttered, "It'd sure get one out of me."

Cameron pinched the skin at inside of his knee causing him to yelp slightly.

Their eyes connected.

Hers displaying amusement, exasperation and fondness.

His shinning with mock hurt, indignation and a hint of something lustful.

A silent conversation passed in the blink of an eye.

The outcome of which was House rolling his eyes in acceptance with a mutter of "fine" beneath his breath.

"Jimmy wake up already!" House called, "You can day-dream of naked hospital administrators later."

"House!" Cuddy shouted in indignation as Cameron desperately tried to conceal a giggle.

"I wasn't day dreaming." Wilson said in a meek nervous voice.

Silence greeted the oncologists voice as the others awaited the rest of the story.

"The hospital... the whole hospital... they've got some twisted idea, and I mean really twisted... I'm not even sure how it started... how could anyone get that idea... but there is the hair I suppose... maybe I should switch shampoo or gel or something..."

"Wilson!" barked House, "What are you talking about?"

"The hospital..." Wilson said, his gaze meeting House's, "They think, they think we're going out."

"Where?" House asked confused.

"No." Wilson said with an exasperated sigh, "They think we're..." he pointed between them, "... you know."

"No way." House breathed as realisation settled in him.

"You have got to be kidding." whispered Cameron.

"I wish I was." Wilson said dropping his head.

Silence settled around the group as they let the news sink in.

"So that's why you kissed me." asked Cuddy the slightest hint of disappointment in her voice.

"Yeah," Wilson admitted, a nervous hand running through his hair, "Guys were hitting on me left, right and center. I had to prove I wasn't gay, and when that elevator sprung open and I saw long hair and a skirt I... um..." Then the hand the ran through his hair, dropped to his shoulder and covered her own hand there. "But I'm glad it was you."

"God help you if it was Cameron." House said breaking the moment the two seemed to have shared, "I would have kicked your ass into next year."

"But why would the hospital think you were gay?" asked Cameron.

"I dunno? Telephone?" Wilson suggested.

"But the hospital grapevine is usually pretty acurate, so someone must have started it and appeared to have some pretty good evidince in the first place."

Wilson, Cameron and House shared a collective 'uh-oh' moment as there gazes flashed between each other.

"What?" Cuddy said, slightly demanding.

"Well..." House started.

"House and Wilson might have looked as though they we're acting out of character this morning." Added Cameron.

"House," Wilson breathed, "This is all your fault."

"How can it be my fault! I never started this, I was in here maki...ah!" House screeched as Cameron pinched his inner thigh once more, this time a little higher.

Cuddy gave the slightest of smirks.

"Okay, so you never said anything but it was your twisted plan that made both of us look as though we were up to something this morning." Wilson said exasperatedly.

"Okay, okay. But it was so much fun." he said with a manic grin, settling further into the couch enjoying the feel of Cameron's soft warm hands moving across his thigh. "And if you ask me my money is on the Brit."

"Foreman did try to stand up for me,"Wilson stated, "But then they said they thought he was trying to break us up so he could go out with you."

"Urgh." House grunted in distaste as Cameron giggled unashamedly.

"He ran away to call his girlfriend at that point, they shouted after him asking if he was bi."

At which point House chuckled soflty, "Did he say where in the hospital he was going to? I feel an interogation coming on."

It was at this exact moment that Foreman burst through the conferance room door and into House's office.

"Can't you knock!" House yelled.

"Chase... " he started before his eyes fell upon House and Cameron looking rather snug on the office's couch.

"Aw crap not more people in shock." House said rolling his eyes. "Right that's it Cuddy I think everyone would feel a lot better if ...AHHHH!" House yelled Cameron's clever fingers inflicting a lot of pain further up his thigh.

Wilson smirked.

Cuddy grinned.

Cameron bit her lip to stop from laughing.

House frowned and looked incredibly aroused at the same time.

Foreman fell back against the glass door and slid down to the floor his eyes wide and his mouth aghast wondering what the hell was going on.


	11. Devious

**Devious**

"Foreman?" Cameron asked slightly worried, her hands still working on House's thigh.

"You... and..." he said looked wide eyed between House and Cameron, pointing in their direction "... and you!" he said looking towards Cuddy and Wilson.

"Well at least he can talk." House said with a roll of his eyes, "Cuddy was speechless for at least two minutes. Then again we were gethmmm hm." he finished as Cameron's hands clamped over his mouth.

By his eyes she could tell that he was smirking so she was not exactly surprised when she felt his mouth shift beneath her fingers; his tongue darting out to tentatively lick her palm then nibbling gently on a stray finger.

Cameron sighed; frustrated as she wanted nothing more to kiss him senseless but instead she pulled her hands from his scruffy chin and crossed her arms in annoyance.

House grinned feeling the increasing heat against the back of his thighs. It was about time she was at flustered as he was; her nimble fingers moving across his thigh were both relaxing and provoking at the same time.

Wilson and Cuddy where smiling knowingly at the pair on the sofa, Cuddy now sitting quite comfortably on Wilson's lap.

Foreman watched the whole thing with a look close to horror. With a sigh he let his heads rest in his hands.

"Well at least we now have some evidence that you're not gay." he said with a sigh.

"And here I thought you'd be actually happy for us, what with the sexual tension gone from the office." House said sarcastically, then suddenly serious. "Though I would advise no one to come in here without knocking in future."

Cameron groaned, completely embarrassed and covered her face with her hands.

"Fine." Foreman said as quietly as possible, in a tone that told Cameron she would not be spared the moral lecture that had suddenly been rescheduled.

"So, how exactly did the entire hospital get the idea that me and Jimmy were doing the nasty?" said House, wriggling further into the depths of the couch, his right thigh rubbing slightly against Cameron's as a silent request for attention.

Everyone in the room recoiled slightly at his words.

"Well, you two were acting sort of weird this morning and Chase..." Foreman started.

"...jumped to conclusions." House said with a frown creasing his brow. "That boy is so stupid it's unbelievable. How could you have slept with him?" he said nudging Cameron. "Even if you were high."

Cameron didn't blush as House would have expected. Instead her eyes grew dark as crossed her arms over her torso and gave him a look that clearly said "You're **_so_** not getting any tonight."

"House, I never knew you could be so romantic." Cuddy said sarcastically her arms draped loosely around Wilson's neck.

"Cuddy, stop trying to get into my pants. Or at least not when 'she'," he pointed at Cameron, "is in the room."

At which point Cameron unhooked her arms and pinched him again.

"Ahh! Oww! STOP!" House screeched, trying to escape Cameron's clutches.

Which resulted in him tumbling from the couch in a tangle of limbs on the floor.

At which point the rest of the room burst into a peel of laughter.

"This is your fault." he said in a dangerously low tone kneeling in front of Cameron.

"Greg." Cameron said warningly.

But the mischievous glint in his eyes persisted as he drew closer. His hands reached for her waist but she gripped his wrists in attempt to keep them at bay, instead he used this to his advantage. He pulled his arms back causing Cameron to fall forward to land hard and awkwardly on his awaiting lips.

It took only seconds to make her forget that there were three other people in the room.

Cuddy and Wilson were practically shaking with laughter.

House released her hands knowing that she wasn't going anywhere.

"Urgh, there are just some things I don't want to see." said Foreman.

Despite Foreman's words their kiss did not slow or become any less intense.

"He's right you two," Cuddy said through giggly laughter, "Cut it out or I'll fire you asses."

Cameron pulled back then leant against the back of the couch her cheeks flushing pink.

"Hey, it's not fair. You and Wilson get to play but we don't." House said pouting and frowning, his hands now resting on Cameron's hips. But they were far from idol, his fingers moving across her hip bone encouraging her body move forward and lean against him as he knelt between her thighs.

Foreman looked as though he was one comment away from putting his fingers in his ears, closing his eyes and rocking back and forth whilst humming.

"No anything in the hospital. For any of us."

"But..." House started.

"No." Cuddy said in a final tone, moving from Wilson's lap to the matching foot rest.

"Fine." he said pulling himself back onto the couch and putting his legs on Cameron's lap once more.

Cuddy looked incredulously at House.

"What? My leg is stiff."

Cameron's hands descended to the area, working slowly and methodically.

"So long as it's just your leg that's stiff." Cuddy murmured.

Foreman grunted and thumped his head against the glass door behind him. "I'm leaving."

"Uh-uh," House said seriously, "You, my little black minion, are going to find Chase and bring him back here to the conference room."

"Why?"

"Revenge, now go. Do my bidding."

"Do I even want to know what your crazy idea is?" Foreman asked tentatively wonder exactly how much of his pay check would go towards psychologists bills this month.

"I doubt it."

"Fine." Foreman sighed, before hauling himself to his feet and walking dejectedly out of the office.

The room descended into an apprehensive silence.

"Go on then." Wilson said with a sigh.

"What?" House asked with a smug tone.

"Your plan." Wilson prompted, rolling his eyes.

"Why do I always have to come up with the plans?" He whined, "Is it because I'm the only genius in the room?"

"No, because you're the only one devious enough to come up with a good enough way to exact revenge." Cameron answered.

"True." he admitted.

"Okay, here's the plan..."


	12. Fabulous Revenge

**Fabulous Revenge**

"Are we ready?" House whispered.

"Yes, you look even more ravaged than you did this morning." muttered Cameron.

"They're coming!" Cuddy said in a squeal of a whisper.

"Okay Jimmy, all those years of faking it with the wives has been leading up to this very moment." House said quietly, talking as if he were a general preparing his troops for battle.

"Great," he muttered darkly, rolling his eyes.

* * *

"What did House say he wanted me for?" Chase said nervously, wondering if the 6ft-plus, cane wielding, cantankerous doctor had caught wind of what had happened in the lobby. 

"He didn't say." Foreman said blankly, still trying to remove images of Cameron and House making out from his mind.

"Does he know about...?" Chase said glancing anxiously around the conference room as he sat at the table, the seat furthest away from House's office.

"I don't know."

At which point a low moan permeated the entire diagnostics department, emanated from House's darkened office.

"What the hell was that?" Chase whispered, fear visible in his wide eyes as he stared at the office door afraid of what might emerge.

"I don't get paid enough for this." Foreman said to himself slumping forward against the desk and wrapping his arms around his head.

"Oh, James! Oh!" sounded a masculine moan.

Another deep guttural moan replied.

Then silence.

"Oh my god!" Chase said completely in shock.

Foreman muttered something but it was completely muffled by the combined weight of his head and arms that pushed his face against the glass.

"I was right!" Chase said in an excited whisper practically bouncing out of his chair. "They are so doing it."

Foreman grumbled something in reply but once again it was lost.

The door between office and conference room opened.

"Greg you have to be more quiet next time or someone will..." Wilson stopped mid-sentence as his eyes fell on a smug looking Chase and Foreman trying to obtain the foetal position.

Wilson's tie was loose around his neck, the top three buttons of his shirt undone revealing a fresh hickey on his collar bone.

House pressed against Wilson's back, his scruffy chin coming to rest on Wilson's shoulder. Wilson had to physically restrain himself from jumping away from the hand that came to rest on his left hip.

"I looks like our secrets out, honey." House said quietly with a wide grin, before nuzzling slightly at Wilson's exposed neck.

Wilson closed his eyes and wished him away but it only succeeded in making it look as though he took pleasure in the touch. He only opened his eyes when he felt the coolness of the room return to his skin as House moved further into the conference room.

"I knew it!" Chase said confidently, just as House reached the small sink in the room.

"Coffee, James?"

"Please." Wilson replied exhaustedly as he slumped into a chair at the conference table.

"And of course you knew, Chase." House said quietly as he poured coffee into his red mug, taking a sip to make sure it was right before moving to the table and setting it before Wilson's rumpled form.

"What do you mean of course I knew?" Chase asked, a frown creasing his brow.

"We know you're gay Chase." House said quietly standing close to his seated 'lover'.

Chase's eyes grew wide, "I'm...I'm not..."

"Robert you can't fool us, I know you check me out when you think I'm not looking." House continued.

"I..."

"And the hair." House sighed admiringly, his gaze moving to the young Aussie's well styled locks, "It's fabulous! I have quite a thing for gorgeous hair." He said, his hand moving through Wilson's ruffled hair.

"Greg, it's not gorgeous when you start running you hands through it." Warning House but doing nothing about the hand on his head.

This was House's show after all.

"It is to me." House said a low seductive tone, his hand still moving through Wilson's hair, then turning back to Chase "We've actually talked about this quite a bit."

"Huh?" Chase asked.

"Robert you have gorgeous hair, sexy eyes, a cute ass and we've seen you check both of us out." House said a lecherous grin spreading across his face. "Fancy a threesome?"

At which point Chase yelped and stood before promptly passing out.

House instantly pulled his hand back to him as if it had been scalded and wiped his hand on his shirt muttering, "What the hell do you put in your hair?"

"What happened?" Cameron said emerging from House's office, Cuddy following close behind.

"He fainted that's what happened." Wilson said looking accusingly at House.

"The plan went better than I thought it would." House said, going over to Cameron's desk and wheeling the swivel chair in the direction of the prone Australian.

"What is the chair for?" Cuddy asked kneeling next to Chase's still form, checking him over.

"Bonus round." House said with a manic grin.


	13. Bonus Round

**Bonus Round**

"Strip him down to his boxers." House ordered.

Foreman groaned against the conference table; everyone else in the room ignored him.

"House don't you think this is getting a little extreme?" asked Wilson, doing up the buttons of his shirt.

"Wilson, the hospital whole was chasing you, a male nurse gave you his cell number and you had stand and be gawped at by randy middle aged gay guys." House said seriously.

"Okay." Wilson said moving between a shocked Cameron and Cuddy reaching for Chase's shirt.

"Help him." House instructed Cuddy and Cameron, with an encouraging nod.

Time was of the essence they couldn't be sure how long he would be out.

Cameron rolled her eyes before reaching for Chase's pants. The image made House's blood boil but he decided that there was a greater good to consider.

"House." Cuddy said in a warning tone.

"Oh come on! Did you hear what he put your new 'beau' though? He needs to be taught a lesson."

Cuddy sighed, "Fine."

House watched as they stripped him down.

"Great, leave his socks on though." he said as the last piece of clothing was tossed to the side. "Now..."

* * *

Chase woke up slowly, his head thumping. 

Confusion crossed his face as he realised that he was sitting, a look that doubled in it's intensity when he realised he couldn't move his hands and he was almost naked

He shook himself awake, and in the dim light he could see that his hands were tied to the armrests of the chair with two silk ties; one he recognised as his own, the other...

He looked up with pure fear in his eyes to be faced with the merciless smile of House and Wilson's smug eyes, a tie missing from around his neck.

"What... I'm not gay. I don't... I don't..." he muttered, almost shaking in fear.

"We know you're not gay, and as luck would have it we're not gay either." House said leaning against his desk.

"But... but..." Confusion spreading across his face once more.

"You should really be careful of the rumours you spread about your boss." House said darkly, "And about Cuddy's boyfriend."

"You're going out with Cuddy?" Chase asked House, his eyebrows almost reaching his hairline.

"I wish." he muttered, glancing down.

"Greg." Cameron said in a warning tone from behind Chase.

House rolled his eyes.

"Cameron!" pleaded Chase, trying to turn around to see his so called friend.

"I'm going out with Cuddy." Wilson said.

"Are we going out?" Cuddy's voice sounded curious and hopeful.

"I hope so." Wilson said looking over Chase's shoulder a goofy smile on his face.

"Dr Cuddy..." Chase started, struggling against his restraints.

"I don't see Dr Cuddy here, do you Dr Wilson?" House asked in a serious tone.

"No, Dr House." Wilson replied studiously, quite happily as current plan didn't involve House touching his hair.

"You," House said turning to his tied duckling. "Doctor Robert Chase, have been accused of spreading vicious rumours about Doctors Wilson and House, how do you plead?"

"I didn't mean... I just..." Chase stuttered.

"Did that sound guilty?" House asked Wilson.

"Yup." Wilson said grinning.

"Okay, your sentence will be..." House took a dramatic pause, General Hospital had been affecting him more than he let on, "...death by nurses."

Chase's eyes widened as his pupils shrunk to the width of pins.

"No, you can't... you're not going to..."

Wilson walked behind Chase and began to pull the chair in the direction of the door.

Cameron and Cuddy had conveniently re-located to the conference room but could still hear Chase's protests.

"You can't! You can't do this! The nurses will eat me alive!"

"At least it'll be the female nurses, poor Jimmy was almost torn limb from limb because of your big mouth." House said as Wilson wheeled the chair to the elevators. "Nice boxers by the way."

Chase glanced down to see pictures of Scooby-Doo staring up at him.

"Aw crap." Chase murmured.

"Yeah, very nice." Wilson sniggered, coming to stand next to House.

"House. House, no you can't do this! Wilson!" Chase screeched as the elevator doors rolled open.

House and Wilson pushed him inside.

House reached in and hit L for the hospital Lobby.

"No! No! Please!" he pleaded. His feet unable to get purchase, his cotton socks slipping on the slick floor.

"No mercy." House said as the door closed shut.

"House!" Chase shouted, cries that eventually died away as the young doctor sunk below their feet.

"You're sure he deserves this?" Cameron said stepping to House's side. Cuddy moved to stand next to Wilson.

"Yeah." House and Wilson said in unison.

* * *

"Yes, Dr Fletcher." Foreman said into his cell, "The very next appointment you have please." 

_"You've already spoken to me this week."_ a distracted voice answered

"Yes, I'm aware I've already seen you this week but this is important, my boss..."

_"How fast can you get here?"_


	14. Home

**Home**

House and Cameron had left together while the nurses where distracted with a semi-naked and incapacitated Doctor Chase. Cuddy seemed quiet relieved to be rid of House and his antics, not to mention happy to be able to retire to Wilson's office without interruption.

"Strange day, don't you think?" Cameron asked as House handed her the helmet as the stepped from the paved sidewalk to the grey asphalt of the car park.

"To put it mildly," He replied passing his backpack to her as he swung his leg over the body of his bike, the slightest smile on his features as he thought of the now redundant clip on the bikes side. "But it was rather interesting."

"Hmm." Cameron replied in a non-committal way as she put her purse in the House's backpack, and slung it over her shoulders. "Everyone knows." she murmured, a hint of fear and uncertainty in her voice.

"Not everyone, Chase is still in the dark. And those that do know will stay quiet about it if they know what's good for them." He smirked almost evilly pulling a pair of sunglasses from his pocket and placing them on the bridge of his nose, "We've got dirt on Cuddy and Wilson and I think the whole experience was entirely too traumatic for Foreman to think, let alone talk about ever again."

"Do you think he'll be okay?"

"He'll be fine!" he sighed exasperatedly, "Now come on, let's go home."

"You'll need to take me back to your place and I'll get my car." she said pulling the helmet over her head, in two minds as to whether she was glad to be going home or sad to be leaving his presence.

He stared at her almost incredulous, "You're coming back to my place, and your car is going to stay exactly where it is 'til morning."

If she didn't have the helmet on she would have kissed him, instead she hopped on the back of the bike and wrapped her arms around him, glad to be going 'home'.


	15. The End

**The End... for now**

Chase lived, though he did receive some bruises and scrapes with his almost naked encounter with a gaggle of horny nurses. Luckily this happened next to the clinic where several well trained, eager-to-help doctors where waiting to help the poor waylaid and ravaged Australian.

Foreman is still attending weekly sessions with his psychiatrist.

Wilson and Cuddy decided to start dating. And despite the fact that the entire hospital knew about the conception of their relationship they attempted to hide it; completely unsuccessfully much to House's amusement.

House and Cameron however had managed to keep their relationship secret thanks to the day when the rumour mill went mad and the nurses had desisted in their gossip mongering for the time being, even so there where whispers through the hospital about House's extreme mood swings; one moment he was almost like a human being the next even more snarky and sarcastic than ever before.

Most, thankfully, put it down to his return to the hospital after 8 weeks of physio or that they'd forgotten what it was little to have House in the hospital instead of the true reason which was that he was actually happy and trying to throw the scent off with some overly sarcastic and cruel behaviour, but it was too like himself for anyone to really tell the difference.

House and Cameron where still trying to find their feet as far as their relationship went. Cameron had not moved in yet, something they were both thankful for.

Though she did spend a great many of her nights and mornings in House's bed.

With him, of course.

Doing... things.

And in this fragile and newly formed relationship neither knew that its first trial was immanent, and that it would forever change their relationship.

For better or for worse.


End file.
